I am dead and I am living.
I am fallen, and I am risen.
I am sinful, and I am sanctified.
I am worthless, yet I am precious.
I was born 17 years ago, yet have only been alive for two.
I'm a murderer on an eternal scale who has been pardoned on an eternal scale.
I'm a hater who has been shown love, and a lover who has been shown hate.
I'm a dreamer who has embraced reality, and a realist with many dreams.
I'm a author with a pen, and a pen with an Author.
I'm a life with a story, and a story with a life.
I'm a heart with a song of joy, and a song with a heart of joy.
I am a mourner who has rejoiced, and a rejoicer who has mourned.
I am a conqueror who is weak, and a weakling who has conquered.
I am an empty vessel that has been filled, and a full vessel that has been emptied.
I am a mortal creature who will have life forever.
I am a stranger where I live, and a citizen where I do not.
I am a bride waiting for her Groom and a girl waiting to be a bride.
I am always fully satisfied, and yet I always hunger
I am the wandering sheep, the prodigal son, the belligerent thief--yet I am the sought, I am the beloved, I am the treasured.
I am the betrayal, the thorns, the nails, the jeers--yet I am the daughter, the friend, the Bride, the chosen, the redeemed.
I am the one who ran away, yet I am the one who will follow until death.
I am the one who cursed, yet I am the one who praises.
I am the one who broke faith, and yet I am the one who has been shown faith.
I am the one who despaired, yet I am the one who has all hope.
I am forever indebted, and yet my debt was paid in full.
I am a harmonious paradox, because I am a sinner and a saint.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Married At 17!?
Up until I was 15/16, I always wanted to--and planned on--getting married when I was 17. When I hit somewhere around 15.5, I realized that that was most likely not happening. When I turned 16, I knew it wasn't happening. When I turned 17 (5mos ago), I laughed out loud that I'd ever thought I'd get married at 17. 
Well, not for the first time and not for the last, I stand corrected. I am 17 and I have been called to leave and cleave to the most amazing lover on this planet (no, I'm not biased. Trust me). He's given up everything to woo me, even though I was a complete jerk to him for most of the years he tried. I am totally undeserving of the incredible man who has asked me to be his bride, but I'm very, very, very glad he chose me!!! I don't know when the wedding is yet, but I can't wait!! I won't take his last name, though… only he is deserving of that name: Jesus Christ.
I've known him for a couple years now (I can't wait to post the story of how we met!), and they've been the sweetest years of my entire life! But lately, He's taken our relationship to a wonderful new level. He has been testing me and asking me lately--do I really love Him more than anything and everything else? Am I really willing to leave behind everything and anything to go with Him, even if the road leads into troubled times? Do I love him enough to leave and cleave to Him alone?
My answer is yes. And now the little hopeless romantic writing this has finally realized why it's possible for some people to be single their entire lives.
God's love is so overpowering, so consuming, so all-sufficient, that nothing else on this planet can hold a candle to it--not even if I were to marry the dreamiest guy in the history of the planet. I know I was in love with Jesus before, but I can truly say that now I am utterly and madly in love with Him (and I'm sure I can love Him more yet)! And, honestly, that's all that matters to me--resting always in His love, but also working and fighting in His love wherever that Love leads me.
Now, I don't know if He ever plans on sharing me with another lover… I wouldn't particularly mind that, but, by the grace of God, He shall forevermore have the first place in my heart--He will always be my truest Lover.
Covered by Your love divine // Child of the risen Lord// To hear You say: "This one's Mine"// My heart is spoken for…
Well, not for the first time and not for the last, I stand corrected. I am 17 and I have been called to leave and cleave to the most amazing lover on this planet (no, I'm not biased. Trust me). He's given up everything to woo me, even though I was a complete jerk to him for most of the years he tried. I am totally undeserving of the incredible man who has asked me to be his bride, but I'm very, very, very glad he chose me!!! I don't know when the wedding is yet, but I can't wait!! I won't take his last name, though… only he is deserving of that name: Jesus Christ.
I've known him for a couple years now (I can't wait to post the story of how we met!), and they've been the sweetest years of my entire life! But lately, He's taken our relationship to a wonderful new level. He has been testing me and asking me lately--do I really love Him more than anything and everything else? Am I really willing to leave behind everything and anything to go with Him, even if the road leads into troubled times? Do I love him enough to leave and cleave to Him alone?
My answer is yes. And now the little hopeless romantic writing this has finally realized why it's possible for some people to be single their entire lives.
God's love is so overpowering, so consuming, so all-sufficient, that nothing else on this planet can hold a candle to it--not even if I were to marry the dreamiest guy in the history of the planet. I know I was in love with Jesus before, but I can truly say that now I am utterly and madly in love with Him (and I'm sure I can love Him more yet)! And, honestly, that's all that matters to me--resting always in His love, but also working and fighting in His love wherever that Love leads me.Now, I don't know if He ever plans on sharing me with another lover… I wouldn't particularly mind that, but, by the grace of God, He shall forevermore have the first place in my heart--He will always be my truest Lover.
Covered by Your love divine // Child of the risen Lord// To hear You say: "This one's Mine"// My heart is spoken for…
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