The Not-So-Epic Saga of Oodstu and Rilloma (pt1)

Word verification='uh oh' for all of you; 'mwahahaha' for me... especially when I have nothing better to write about... *insane grin* First time I've ever tried a 'blog story' too... hehe! (please note... this is nothing like the novel I'm writing. That'd be embarrassing.) :-D

The Not-So-Epic Saga of Oodstu and Rilloma
Part I- In Which The Rutabagas Are All Gone.

Once upon a time, there were two tiny trolls named Oodstu and Rilloma. Now, most people think of trolls as big and nasty. Or else, little and nasty. But Oodstu and Rilloma were neither. They left the 'big and nasty stuff' to their cousin, Bim (who cracked coconuts for a living) and the 'little and nasty' stuff to their uncle, Barm, who was a world-class meatloaf fryer (the person who works in the back deep-frying meatloaf, doncha know). But Oodstu and Rilloma didn't like to fry meatloaf either. They were vegetarians and their diet consisted largely of kale and rutabaga. It was the rutabaga that turned their hair cotton-candy blue, too. (Rutabaga often has that effect on trolls, it seems) Oodstu stood about a quarter of a meter off the ground and Rilloma sat about half a quarter of a meter off the ground (because, you see, Rilloma never stood up). And they were very happy. Except, of course, when it rained and they had to find another sandwich bag to live in. However, there were plenty of sandwich bags around the old rubber ducky manufacturing plant where they lived, so they were never without. (Don't ask me why there were so many sandwich bags, nor why the rain only ever rained on top of one at a time, for I truly don't know)

So one day Oodstu and Rilloma were taking a walk. Only, Rilloma wasn't walking, because she never stood up and therefore never walked. (Don't ask me why Rilloma always sat down, nor how she got around so well while managing to never stand up, for I truly don't know.) They were walking to their garden, which they always kept a little distance from the house. They did this just in case they should need to move in a hurry. That way, they wouldn't have to drag their garden around so much, for the suitcase in which it was planted was awfully heavy, especially with all those rutabagas growing in it (for rutabagas are rather heavy when you're only a quarter of a meter tall or a half of a quarter of a meter, doncha know).
"Which shall we eat today, Oodstu?" Rilloma asked, turning her head slightly so he could hear her. Oodstu lagged a little behind his wife. Odd, considering he was the one who stood and she the one who sat.
"Kale and rutabaga," the tiny woman continued, "Or rutabaga and kale?"
"Kale and rutabaga," Oodstu replied after thinking it over carefully. (Oodstu always thought things over carefully, doncha know). "We've had rutabaga and kale for at least a day in a row!"
Rilloma nodded solemnly. "Oh yes, that's right. And it isn't good for us to have such repetition in our diet. It might make us grow taller."
They shared a shudder at the thought. If there was one thing Oodstu and Rilloma dreaded more than anything else, it was growing taller, or thinner, or handsomer. So they were always very careful to avoid this (and did a fairly good job at it as well). Soon, the couple arrived at the garden and commenced to choosing the very ripest kale for their supper. Rilloma always insisted on finding the ripest kale, but neither of them could ever quite determine just how to tell whether a kale was the ripest or not. So they just went with their best guess. Then it was time for the rutabagas- their very favorite. Oodstu always insisted on picking the plumpest rutabaga for their meals, but, then again, it was rather hard to find a plump rutabaga, and even harder to tell if it was the plumpest. So they always just went with their best guess. Only, today, there was a problem. There was no plumpest rutabaga to be found! In fact... there were no rutabags to be found at all!
Oodstu smiled wide like he always did when he was upset. "There aren't any rutabaga!"
"There aren't any rutabaga," Rilloma echoed, smiling in shock. "The first time in at least twenty years! Maybe even twenty-one!"
"And if there aren't any rutabaga," Oodstu said slowly, after thinking it over carefully, "That means the rutabaga must be all gone!"
"And if the rutabaga are all gone..." his wife continued, her smile of distress growing larger, "That means there aren't any!"

Once Oodstu and Rilloma had quite determined that there weren't any rutabaga, and that consequently the rutabaga must be all gone, they decided that they ought to do something about it. After all, what good was kale without rutabaga? And what good was rutabaga without kale? (Only... that didn't really matter at the moment, since there were no rutabaga and therefore there would be no eating of kale anyways.) At first Oodstu and Rilloma considered calling loudly for their rutabaga. They quickly decided against that, however, because Oodstu thoughtfully pointed out that rutabaga don't have ears. Their second idea was to run an ad in the paper for the missing rutabaga. But they decided against that too, because Rilloma reminded Oodstu that, if they let the world know their precious rutabaga were missing, someone else might go and find them and not bring them back! It took about an hour before they decided on their course of action- they would go and find the rutabaga themselves.

To be continued...